I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
