You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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