I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
