Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
splinters make it hard to masturbate
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
