Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
