I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
