If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
