I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
