She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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