Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
