I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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