Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
