Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
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