capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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