she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
