The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
