im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
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