Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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