Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
