I like my sex mixed with concussions.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?