I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you