Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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