One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
