my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize