so explain again why im purple
no
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
