I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
