I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
