I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
