I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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