Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
