why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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