I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
