My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
