he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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