Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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