She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
