so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
