My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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