Having a random hookup so left but love u
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
