last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
