Texts From Last Night

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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.

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  (480): I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it. http://tfl.nu/fq9i
  Replies (14) Good night (1973) Bad night (638)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour

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  (503): That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour http://tfl.nu/3dpl
  Replies (8) Good night (2599) Bad night (1124)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you

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  (218): You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you http://tfl.nu/pqp2
  Replies (29) Good night (1474) Bad night (2249)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.

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  (405): It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother. http://tfl.nu/gdyr
  Replies (42) Good night (1157) Bad night (2748)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.

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  (425): You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left. http://tfl.nu/zkuy
  Replies (20) Good night (1702) Bad night (5834)
• Favorite

  (252): View more from North Carolina

  i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.

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  (252): i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too. http://tfl.nu/myt5
  Replies (55) Good night (6194) Bad night (937)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?

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  (443): sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this? http://tfl.nu/z2x3
  Replies (13) Good night (942) Bad night (3413)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.

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  (407): I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care. http://tfl.nu/n9k1
  Replies (14) Good night (4877) Bad night (773)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.

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  (918): My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost. http://tfl.nu/50uv
  Replies (32) Good night (950) Bad night (3123)
• Favorite

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.

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  (580): So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep. http://tfl.nu/hhhj
  Replies (3) Good night (906) Bad night (2058)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.

  (1-570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Marry him. Now.

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  (570): He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight. (1-570): Marry him. Now. http://tfl.nu/5wky
  Replies (13) Good night (4116) Bad night (839)
• Favorite

  (507): View more from Minnesota

  Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs

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  (507): Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs http://tfl.nu/tz12
  Replies (25) Good night (889) Bad night (1604)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it

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  (508): Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it http://tfl.nu/qcg9
  Replies (3) Good night (549) Bad night (487)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  Accurate.

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  (207): Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants. (1-207): Accurate. http://tfl.nu/jdou
  Replies (2) Good night (564) Bad night (283)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.

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  (336): My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public. http://tfl.nu/yo1q
  Replies (3) Good night (968) Bad night (358)

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