Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
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