Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
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is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
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Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
When are your genitals available?