Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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