Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(760): View more from California

There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.

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(760): There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours. http://tfl.nu/m1ds

Replies (34) Good night (3866) Bad night (590)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper

(952): View more from Minnesota

Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?

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(612): he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper (952): Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it? http://tfl.nu/ydx5

Replies (9) Good night (1025) Bad night (3954)
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(631): View more from New York

Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.

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(631): Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person. http://tfl.nu/vzo8

Replies (15) Good night (3661) Bad night (768)
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(863): View more from Florida

I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.

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(863): I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car. http://tfl.nu/95eu

Replies (27) Good night (6054) Bad night (709)
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(970): View more from Colorado

Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.

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(970): Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass. http://tfl.nu/mex7

Replies (12) Good night (9781) Bad night (987)
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(815): View more from Illinois

there was naked duck duck goose

(703): View more from Virginia

how does that even get suggested?!

(815): View more from Illinois

after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal

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(815): there was naked duck duck goose (703): how does that even get suggested?! (815): after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal http://tfl.nu/ykdy

Replies (20) Good night (7929) Bad night (1228)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.

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(248): Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police. http://tfl.nu/zopt

Replies (9) Good night (1756) Bad night (4649)
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(602): View more from Arizona

Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you

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(602): Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you http://tfl.nu/ckem

Replies (11) Good night (2492) Bad night (800)
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(863): View more from Florida

I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.

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(863): I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/1riw

Replies (21) Good night (950) Bad night (1645)
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(701): View more from North Dakota

I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka

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(701): I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka http://tfl.nu/1kth

Replies (4) Good night (1010) Bad night (683)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass

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(336): I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass http://tfl.nu/ok5m

Replies (3) Good night (456) Bad night (1067)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?

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(603): Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy? http://tfl.nu/plt7

Replies (1) Good night (531) Bad night (367)
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(760): View more from California

dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself

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(760): dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself http://tfl.nu/8oqh

Replies (2) Good night (359) Bad night (760)
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(424): View more from California

Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?

(310): View more from California

"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."

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(424): Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth? (310): "Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants." http://tfl.nu/ausk

Replies (2) Good night (819) Bad night (187)
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(443): View more from Maryland

Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.

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(443): Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on. http://tfl.nu/e4fs

Replies (6) Good night (169) Bad night (377)

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