Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
