Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
