It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."