Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He passed out mid-signature
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize