Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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