Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.

Fav 8 2724 1194
share tweet
(313): View more from Michigan

Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?

Fav 19 1118 6194
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(517): View more from Michigan

Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.

Fav 15 811 3349
share tweet
(401): View more from Rhode Island

apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"

Fav 7 5424 1205
share tweet
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(813): View more from Florida

Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.

Fav 22 1497 2101
share tweet
(508): View more from Massachusetts

nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior

Fav 6 2542 1155
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(845): View more from New York

Make me a sandwich

(301): View more from Maryland

The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.

Fav 28 6518 1208
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(505): View more from New Mexico

While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.

Fav 3 741 341
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.

Fav 1 50 8
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT