Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb. http://tfl.nu/h3os
  Replies (4) Good night (4005) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (386): View more from Florida

  According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (386): According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death. http://tfl.nu/q8lg
  Replies (25) Good night (738) Bad night (6379)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out. http://tfl.nu/g5y4
  Replies (14) Good night (683) Bad night (6311)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved. http://tfl.nu/edpa
  Replies (18) Good night (1250) Bad night (9289)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister. http://tfl.nu/1i96
  Replies (18) Good night (6914) Bad night (1148)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs. http://tfl.nu/cszc
  Replies (15) Good night (4567) Bad night (1082)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied.. http://tfl.nu/zapu
  Replies (6) Good night (3806) Bad night (769)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (941): sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single http://tfl.nu/m0e2
  Replies (3) Good night (2307) Bad night (1000)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina http://tfl.nu/jm59
  Replies (10) Good night (3319) Bad night (1106)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time. http://tfl.nu/dmh2
  Replies (9) Good night (2625) Bad night (545)
• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for? http://tfl.nu/dlqr
  Replies (22) Good night (3722) Bad night (587)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having http://tfl.nu/k4bc
  Replies (3) Good night (831) Bad night (512)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend http://tfl.nu/upf3
  Replies (3) Good night (687) Bad night (384)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home http://tfl.nu/c2b2
  Replies (3) Good night (749) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (225): Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down... http://tfl.nu/qxa1
  Replies (2) Good night (384) Bad night (603)

Randomize