so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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