I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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