So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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