He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
What a dumb baby whore.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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