I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
