Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Operation Purity has been aborted
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
