I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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