even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
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They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
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He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
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