I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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