Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
