Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
