i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Randomize