So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
