if i can run in heels then i can drive
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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