I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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