There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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