you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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