My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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