Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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