....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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