sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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