i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize
