so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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