do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
