This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
