wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
