dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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