Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
