Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
